Is it okay that I own that I’m sad today?
Someone I care about deeply is going through dark and difficult times.
A lifetime of abuse and neglect has finally caught up with them in a shitstorm of epic proportions and, not seeing a way through, they’ve essentially given up.
Even though they are making progress.
Even though there are indicators that they ARE getting better.
It’s not enough for them… not BIG enough, not fast enough, not enough enough… and so they are choosing to give up on themselves.
“Why not? Everyone else has.”
But it’s a lie.
Because I’m still here. And others are still here. SO MANY PEOPLE who want to see this person succeed.
But we can’t help them if they are unwilling to take the steps for themselves.
I suppose I share this with two thoughts in mind:
1) Wherever you are in your journey, DON’T GIVE UP on you. Don’t you fucking do it. Because all those seemingly meaningless baby steps will add up for you. They’re already making a difference. They’re already changing your stars.
If baby steps didn’t work… if they weren’t worth counting… I wouldn’t be here right now.
I’d be dead.
A memory to the handful of people who knew me and a cautionary tale to whoever might listen.
But I let those steps count. I let every damn thing become a win.
I made it to the couch today? WINNING.
I put a load of laundry in the wash? WINNING.
I brushed my teeth? WINNING.
Every fucking thing.
And while some coaches out there might say I’m bonkers and creating super kids stickers for things that don’t really matter, I say, “Shut your fucking mouths because you don’t know what it’s like to crawl through hellfire and drag yourself up a mountain of glass just to take that next breath.”
Every step counts. Every step matters. Every degree we shift gets us one degree closer to our dreams and our light and our joy.
Dare I say, to our salvation.
So you damn well better count it.
And you better keep doubling down on you.
2) You can’t save anyone who doesn’t want to be saved. Let me rephrase that… you can’t save anyone period.
We’re not built for that. (It’s a Higher Power kind of job.)
I’ve been wrecking myself over what I could have done differently and what I can do differently now to help this person.
But the truth is, that’s not my job. I don’t save people.
I show up for people and help them save their damn selves.
YOU are in charge of YOU. And THEY are in charge of THEM.
And the sooner you accept this — the sooner you stop putting all your energy into everyone else but you in order to make sure THEIR joy and happiness is assured — the sooner you’ll realize that MAKING YOU A PRIORITY is the best thing you can do for them.
I think I needed that last part.
“Making you a priority is the best thing you can do for them.”
It just shot some pictures like lightning to my brain… How focusing on me and my creation and goals will actually open up ways to better support this individual through their darkness.
So thanks for letting me chat this out with you.
Thanks for hearing me.
We’re in this life together and none of us can do it alone.
None of us.
Especially people of magick.
Ridiculously grateful I have you.
*uncomfortably long super tackle squishy hugs*
P.S. Soul Magick is coming and I’m doing it live in person this time. Because people of magick NEED to be together. We need to see each other and hug each other and transform with each other.
So if you’re ready for a lightning sprint to the deep to BREAK FREE of the chains of your past and REDISCOVER your self, path, power, and joy so you can SHINE like the mother fucking sun you were always meant to be, mark your calendar for October 6-9th.
Yep, it’s 4 INTENSE DAYS in a room with yours truly. We’re going to cry, laugh, heal, and transform.
Are you in? (More deets coming soon.)