“As long as I can look myself in the mirror and know I did my best, then I’m good.”
A client said this to me as we chatted her experience in a workplace that seems to run off dumpster fires and coffee. On the surface, it’s a great sentiment.
I’m a firm believer in giving our 100%—which can change from moment to moment—and letting that be enough.
THE PROBLEM? WHAT WE SEE IN THE MIRROR ISN’T ACTUALLY TRUTH.
Because our perspective on what we see when we look in that mirror is skewed. Our lens is warped, twisted by the stories, programs, and beliefs we were given as children.
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Let’s take for example the program that says we must always work harder. There is no time to rest or play. There is always something more to be done.
That distorts our lens.
So now, when we look in the mirror, no matter what we have accomplished, the program whispers that it still isn’t enough. There are more items on the checklist. Our work is not done. We cannot count this as our 100% because we know we can find more to give. After all, we’ve done it in the past so we can do it again now.
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Or maybe we carry the program that our effort is never enough. We grew up in a space that no matter what we did, Mom or Dad or Teacher always found something wrong with it… something we needed to fix or improve.
Now we stand in front of that mirror as adults and, instead of seeing a job well done, all we can see are the things that need to be fixed. “It’s not over,” our Inner Critic tells us, “You need to tweak X and what about Y? Don’t you want your boss/client to see your best work? Is this really your best?”
Or perhaps our parents gifted us the belief that we are exceptional… that we will always be the #1 person in any room. I love the confidence this can give! AND… we must also be careful of the weight. Being the best in any room requires us to always be the smartest and most talented… to be peerless… the one who CAN and MUST fix any problem and who won’t rest until the world is taken care of.
So we push—giving up sleep, relationships, joy, time, and even health in order to offer up something “worthy.”
TRUSTING THE MIRROR WITHOUT CHALLENGING OUR LENS CAN BE DANGEROUS.
Do you see how that look in the mirror can be dangerous if we aren’t aware of our lens?
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How the unhealthy and unhelpful programs of our culture can undermine our confidence, self-trust, personal value, and self-care?
So before you go relying on that “look in the mirror”, I invite you to take a look-see into your soul. What does she have to say? What rest does she need? If you turned off all the voices, rules, and expectations, what would she honestly want to do?
FRIEND, YOU ARE WORTH PURSUING WHAT SETS YOUR SOUL ON FIRE!
…And protecting yourself from what does not.
You are worth choosing joy.
You are worth ditching perfection.
You are worth all the space, grace, and compassion.
You are worth the rest.
Loves & hugs,
